The First Day of School

Everyone gets hyped about the first day of school. I sure did. I made an apple photo frame out of cardboard to capture my son’s first day of preschool. Isn’t he a doll?! {Yes, that is a dorsal fin in the “A.”}

I was totally geeked and tried to get him excited about school by talking it up as the day approached. We made a day of shopping for school supplies and clothes. His aunt bought him a Jawsome shark backpack. I even created these shark-themed labels for his supplies.

I dropped him off on the first day of school with smiles, laughter, big hugs and waves bye-bye. He was brave. He was happy. He felt safe. My little boy was growing up. {big sigh}

I left feeling far more vulnerable and worried for him. What if he had a bathroom accident? What if it was #2?! What if the other kids were mean to him? Or thought he was weird? What if he couldn’t get his lunchbox open? Or wouldn’t eat what I packed?

Quite honestly, I didn’t worry for long as I basked in my newfound freedom and promptly went about my day running errands with just my littlest one in tow. {It was so much easier keeping up with just one kid.} Time flew by quickly and it was time to pick him up from school. I’m super excited to hear all about his first day… and I pick up a very different little boy.

He was downtrodden, sad, quiet. I asked him about his first day and I got little back. Did you meet new friends? Nothing. Did you read a book in class today? No. Did you go to gym class or play outside? No, the teacher yelled at me. No running in the classroom. Oh, ok, I could see how that could be dangerous, but you can run outside during recess or when you’re playing in the gym. Quiet pouting again. Didn’t you have fun at school today? Do you like school? No! I don’t like school. I don’t like my teacher. She’s mean and just yells. And then he mimics how she snarled, “Get back in your seat!” He said he was scared of her.

Wow. It was like getting sucker-punched in the gut. I never expected he would react in such a way. I simultaneously wanted to cradle my little boy’s hurt feelings and punch his teacher in the nose for making those hurt feelings. Sure, it was his first time going to school, but he’d been exposed to organized learning at the local children’s gym and story time at the library. He really enjoyed those experiences, so I thought school would naturally follow suit.

The Mama Bear in me wanted to pull him out of school that day. I needed to protect him from the crazy preschool teacher who should have been all rainbows and puppy dog tails, but who turned out to be a fire-breathing monster, screaming and making my child feel little.

And then the Sensible Mom took over. It was only the first day. This was all a new routine for him. He didn’t have to sit in his seat or be quiet or stop running at home with me. At home, I was there to help him open his applesauce and eat his lunch. Now, he was learning to do things on his own.

I sought the advice of my mother-in-law, who echoed what I knew to be true in my heart: give him some time to work it out. There are new ways of doing things he must learn, new rules to obey, new adults to trust. She told me to love on him, so I showered him with reassurance, support and love as best I could to build him up. I also wanted to empower him, so we worked on politely saying phrases like, “Please don’t yell at me.” and “Please ask me nicely.” if he felt threatened by the teacher. I hoped, if anything, it would at least give the teacher pause to consider how she’s interacting with her kids.

So it was the second day of school that turned out to be the greater challenge. It hurt my heart to make him go to school when he defiantly did not want to go. He cried when I dropped him off. It’s heart-wrenching walking away from your crying child. In this case, however, he was in safe hands and I reassured him {me?} I would be back to pick him up soon.

The Chief came with me to pick him up from school on day two, and that brought a big smile to his face. He seemed to have had a better day. He was still a little quieter than usual, but quickly returned to his usual level of exuberance. Day three seemed to have gone off without a hitch, but after the weekend it’s like we’re back at day two all over again. Here’s hoping the rest of the school year continues to get better from here! — v.

Things I hope my child learns this year:

• the alphabet, in order
• how to write his name
• courage to try new things
• when it’s time to be still and when it’s time to play
• school is fun!

P.S. His teacher isn’t really a fire-breathing monster. She {and her assistant} are dedicated and loving teachers who set rules and expectations and then holds students accountable to them. I sincerely applaud their efforts and commitment to developing young minds into caring, smart, responsible children.